Akko Ribs

(Old Elms’ Style)

The secret to good Akko ribs begins long before the kitchen. Ensure the Akko has been fed exclusively Allur acorns from Acostele and tranquilized with Salva Ageda before… well, you know.

Ingredients:

• Akko Rib Rack (from a properly prepared specimen)
• Marinade:
  • Lambrid (generous amount)
  • Ripe tomatoes, crushed
  • Black bee honey
  • Salt (to taste)
  • Fresh papaya juice
  • Fresh orange juice
  • Chili (to taste, depending on your bravery)
• Taerr wood for smoking
• Secret fluid from the lilac vial (Find it in my cupboard, where I keep the blanket!)

Preparation:

1. Marinade: Mix all the marinade ingredients in a large container. Completely submerge the Akko rib rack in the mixture. Let it marinate for exactly three hours and two seconds. Not one more, not one less; it’s important.
2. Draining and Light Smoking: Remove the ribs from the marinade (reserve the liquid for later). Place them on a rack over a smoker with Taerr wood embers. Let them drain and receive a light touch of smoke for exactly thirteen minutes.
3. Slow Roasting: Prepare a grill or fire for slow roasting. Place the ribs carefully.
4. Basting and Secret: Roast slowly, keeping the fire steady but not too high. Every two minutes, generously baste the ribs with the reserved marinade. Every three minutes, very carefully apply two drops of the lilac fluid directly onto the most exposed bone, allowing the liquid to slowly slide down until it touches the meat. Continue this alternating process until the ribs reach medium (pink and juicy inside, but not raw).
5. Magical Rest: Remove the ribs from the heat immediately upon reaching the desired point. The lilac fluid will work its final magic and finish the cooking from within. Place them in a dark place, completely away from any light source (even torchlight could affect it), for exactly one hour. This step is crucial for the final texture and flavor!
6. Serving: After resting, cut the ribs and serve them immediately. Accompany them with a side of roasted potatoes or, if you want to follow the purest Acostele tradition, with a generous portion of Kabit.

(Written on the back, in neat dwarven runes): I regret I cannot be here to hand you this precious treasure, my dear F’ward. Enjoy the recipe, not just the flavor, but the experience of achieving it. Don’t cling blindly to tradition, my friend: change, test, improve it. P.S.: Take my skillet. I know it will serve you as well as it served me in the worst and best of times. Thanks for the laughs. - Elms

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