Where are you?

I’ve been asking myself this question for so long, I’ve forgotten who I’m asking it to.

I’ve even forgotten who I’m looking for.

I’d like to know what it’s like to live without doubt— how to breathe without this emptiness in my chest.

I wish I knew where to start looking for what I’m not even sure is lost.

It’s no longer worth shouting. It’s no longer worth crying. No one but me can imagine where to begin the search.

And yet I still walk toward nowhere.

Tell me, little one—who are you looking for? Who are you crying for?

Tell me why you rejoice in the darkness and feel sorrow at the dawn.

Please tell me—for my life depends on it— where to begin searching for what you’re missing.

Tell me, before I take my last breath, where I must dive to find you.

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